By Fleur Lind
The latest contribution from Rose City Writers, this week from FLEUR LIND…
Check out more short stories at Fleur Lind’s website – fleursfabulousfables.wordpress.com
I think it’s time you and I had a talk.
Sure, you come and visit one of my many assistants each year when they are sitting in a big comfy chair in a mall or shopping Centre near you, but I need to have a word with you.
I’ve been in the business of delivering presents to you and yours for many, many years. I’ve seen each new generation come along, grow and evolve. You have kept my elves busy with your ever-changing Christmas list over the years, from the cuddly stuffed toys, building blocks, train sets, dolls, books, play dough, skates, bikes, sports shoes, sailing ships for the bath, doll houses, trucks, remote control cars… (taking a breath…)
As you all grew, your wants changed. We stepped up a gear or two, maybe four, to more sophisticated things.
The elves weren’t happy about the racket that noisy muffler made for your dad’s car, and I had a job packing it in my big red Santa sack last year.
If I had a dollar for every high-tech, blue tooth-enabled gadget or phone that I see on your Christmas list each year, I’d be on a Santa Cruise somewhere. That is, when they start up again. Maybe a river cruise along the Murray …
The thing is – I’m not keeping up. Figuratively speaking, of course. We all know I am faster than a speeding bullet; as my good friend Superman, says. He and I go way back. We do laps round the Earth, and other planets just for fun. And we can go further afield, or planet, as it were, now that I have had my mechanic install a turbo jet that would make every petrol head’s eyes water. It’s magnificent if I do say so myself. As I had accumulated several million flybys points for the number of chimneys, front yards, and doorsteps I stop at each year on the 24th of December…well of course I had to cash them in. And in case you are wondering, the emissions from my turbo jets meet all the safety standards. I won’t be causing a global meltdown with them; don’t you fret about that. The only meltdown that could possibly occur is if Rudolph doesn’t get enough carrots on the journey!
I digress. Back to Superman, he and I chase the Sun and dance around the Moon, just because we can. Mrs Claus times us on each lap. We were even going to enter the Intergalactic Games, but Superman kept getting called away to save the world. It seems there is always something going on to pull him away. His finger lights up too, so he’s a good stand-in when Rudolph is under the weather from too many carrots or drinking my eggnog. Such a naughty reindeer!
On another note, with every household drop of presents I do, I am also giving your family a complimentary bottle of Santatiser…it’s my own branded version. Mine smells far more pleasant than the sanitiser you buy in the stores. My elves have been very inventive with the aromas; there is Frankincense, Mistletoe, Fruitcake, and eggnog for the Northern part of the world, and for you good folk down under, we have done BBQ, Bubbly, Sandcastles, and Sea Spray.
Anyway.
Back to your list this year.
I’ve been going to North Pole IT classes to try and find the fascination with the new phone you want. I still haven’t found it, but I get a lot of Christmas lists texted to me now. Also, my Facebook and Twitter page are busy with requests, well wishes and images of your pets. It is a good thing you are getting rain now, as that was a very popular present request. Sadly, I can’t control that, I am amazing, and magic is my middle name, but I can’t tell the clouds and weather systems what to do. Believe me, I’ve tried, but to no avail. So long as I can get through on my big night without a storm, strong winds and heavy rain; that will be ideal. It is not a pretty sight when Dasher gets a lightning bolt tickling his tail! I will have to turn my turbo jets off if that happens, or I will have finished my present deliveries before I have started!
But remember this when you are writing out those lists…or texting them to me….
I miss the good ol’ days when you wanted books and blocks and trains or dolls and skates. There are so many good reads out there now, and you should be outdoors more. Fresh air and exercise, but slip, slop, slap and wrap and wear a mask!
But I know I must move with the times, so text me and tell me what you’re leaving out for my supper this year.
I’m gluten-free now, so I’ll text you some menu ideas!
Stay safe my friends,
Yours,
Santa.
